Which book do you find yourself regularly rereading, and why?
Frostbite - Richelle Mead
Lissa Dragomir is a Moroi Princess: a mortal vampire with a rare gift for harnessing the Earth's magic. She must be protected at all times from Strigoi; the fiercest vampires--the ones who never die. The powerful blend of human and vampire blood that flows through Rose Hathaway, Lissa's best friend, makes her a Dhamphir. Rose is dedicated to a dangerous life of protecting Lissa from the Strigoi, who are Helll-bent on making Lissa one of them.
Rose has serious guy trouble. Her gorgeous turtor, Dimitri, has his eye on someone else, her friend Mason has a huge crush on her, and she keeps getting stuck in her best friend Lissa's head while she's making out with her boyfriend, Christian.
Then a nearby Strigoi attack puts St. Vladmir's on high alert, and the Academy whisks its students away on a mandatory holiday ski trip. But the glittering winter landscape and posh Idaho resort only provide the illusion of safety. When three students run away to strike back against the deadly Strigoi, Rose must join frces with Christian to rescue them. Only this time, Rose--and her heart--are in more danger than she ever could have imaged.
I always seem to favor the second book in a series. I am not sure why. This one steps it up from the first novel. I like Rose, because she's very real. There's a lot of sass to her, and she's incredibly dedicated to her job as a Guardian for Lissa. She makes stupid decisions, and she learns and grows up within each book. She has conflicting emotions and expresses selfish and selfless tendencies. In this book, there's a certain thrill of danger, and a trap no one saw coming. There's heartbreak and a shift in the mood of the story that transitions nicely through the rest of the books up to the end.
Plus you meet Adrian. Adrian was always my favorite because despite his womanizing habits, he truly, really does care for Rose. I look forward to reading about him in the spinoff series of VA. Any time I am in the mood to feel on edge, waiting to turn each page--even though I know what is going to happen. The shock of the plot gets me every time and it's a good read for when you want to go back and relive the moment. Vampire novels are something of a guilty pleasure for me. I thought them ridiculous at first, and then Sunny convinced me to read Twilight a year after it hit the bookshelves and I was hooked ever since.
On a lighter note, Steve's sister is having another baby! I am very glad for them as they are incredibly elated, I am a sucker for babies and children. I was worried something bad had happened because he did not return at all that night, and I spent my night going back and forth with Rob. I think around seven thirty my time he reported to have passed out around three his time, so I am glad everything was okay in the end. To be honest, I worry about Steve. He has a delicate heart and a very complex mind. I guess that is another reason I am addicted to him. Learning about people is very addicting. I think the reason he has attached to me is because I am something of a mother-figure. Here is a man who lives in his own apartment, owns his own recording studio and equipment. Who is extremely misanthropic, and keeps to himself unless he is with his friends. Growing up was difficult for him. His father--like my own--was very abusive, and that has impacted him greatly, and not for the better. I think, living away from his family, that perhaps he needs a female figure in his life. I don't mind at all. I enjoy his company, and I can only believe he enjoys my own.
I was a very angry soul today. I have eleven cuts on my upper arm. One for each year of misery I feel I've brought. They are minor cuts, but they will scar. I did not mind, but I felt it was necessary. Not so much out of a psychotic need to "make the pain go away" so much as, "I need this pain so I can remind myself that I am human. I have hurt people, and for that I must feel pain unto myself." After that, I passed out for four hours and woke up. I briefly had a conversation with Steve--we spoke French today--before going to work, where my aura just utterly blackened. I felt as if a storm cloud were roiling and brooding around me. Bekah was wasting time, during an extremely busy day, and nothing got done. I was entirely fed up of my manager teasing me that I'm some sort of idiot. That I'm not capable of my job. That I'm not reliable. I have never missed a day of work. I have never called in sick. I have always showed up--whether I was early, on time, or late, sick, or fine. I do what I am asked to do and there are times I do more than what is asked of me just because it is within my power. Meanwhile, Bekah sits at the desk texting. She didn't even finish the prep. The very first thing on the mid-shifter's check off is the prep. When she didn't text, she went to goof off with Mary Lou. Then Renee calls because she forgot a lot of work to do, and dumped it on Bekah. Here's the kicker. Renee is on Vacation for the week. Becky is also on vacation for a week because her sister is getting married. Was it really wise for the Manager to take a vacation the same week the Assistant Manager is out, and leave Bekah as a person in charge? No. It fucking wasn't. But that is the situation for the week. Meanwhile, Bekah's staring at this paperwork for half an hour, takes out her phone to google, then declares she has no idea how to transmit the paperwork. I snatch it from her and do it myself. Why? Because I fucking know what I am doing. And yet -I- am labeled as the incompetent moron.
Then she started to eat my food. And funny enough, that is when I started to get -angry-. I do. Not. Like. Sharing. That is a huge pet peeve of mine. I don't like sharing. Tim asked me if I wanted those Starbursts, I said yes. She did not ask if she could have any. Just started EATING them, like the fat pig that she is. And after that, I stopped caring whether I was at work or not. I was short-tempered, ill-tempered, the rest of the night. I had a party to go to after work, and Bekah's slacking was going to keep me from getting out at a reasonable hour. Finally. FINALLY when it's almost time for her to go a little after eight, Renee calls. I know she wants to speak to Bekah. Why? Because she never speaks to me. Because I'm of no interest to her. I'm a ditzy moron. I debriefed her. I told her it was still busy, that I was behind on my work, that Bekah was slacking off and then had to do what she had asked Bekah to do on top of that. I must have sounded upset, because she slowly said, "Caallmmm doowwnnn." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when I snapped.
I. Went. Off on my manager.
I told her it was fucking ridiculous to run off and take a vacation when your assistant manager was gone in the same week. I told her Bekah minds her Ps and Qs when she was around, but as soon as she left, she fucks off to do whatever, and demanded to know if she actually left Bekah in charge as a PIC. I told her that I was tired of being mocked and ridiculed and made fun of at their expense when I'm actually doing my job. I told her to fuck off with being calm, and that I didn't appreciate all this harassment about how I'm the slow one, I'm pokey little puppy, when the damn person she thought was safe and fit and deemed ready to be a person in charge, was fucking off the first first day. I told her that it was not professional to keep my coworkers on the phone for over an hour--and not even talk about work-related things. I told her I was tired of looking for Becky and her being on the phone with you, talking about some drama that happened in her college, and the latest gossip on her and Mark, especially on days when it's so damn busy. I told her if she couldn't handle doing her job as a manager, then not to do it and let someone else who can. Then I shoved the phone into Bekah's hand and stormed back inside.
And after an hour, Bekah came back in, and looked all grinning and sheepish, "Farmer are you mad at--" I -really- exploded
"DO NOT. REFER TO ME BY MY FATHER'S LAST NAME. EVER. AGAIN. I CAN'T -STAND- THAT MAN. I HAVE ASKED. I HAVE TOLD. I HAVE BEGGED -ALL- OF YOU TO STOP. CALLING ME THAT AND YOU JUST -CANNOT- SEEM TO GRASP THAT I DON'T. LIKE IT."
I felt shot after that. My workplace is not a place to explode. That is something that happens outside of the work environment. And people were staring. But I felt cornered. I felt trapped. I am tired of being bullied and walked all over in my own environment. I cannot turn to my managers, because in their sick little world they're involved in it to. Everyone there is so -two-faced. Renee is all laughs and smiles and giggles when Bekah is there, but when she's not, it's "Oohh, God, that girls gets on my neerveess." I get that Bekah thinks she's the cat's fucking meow. Great for her. To me, she's obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate, and I can't -stand- working with her OR being around her outside of work.
If I lose my job, I don't even care. I have three more to back me up. I am tired of how things are run and deligated. Becky leaves these largely written, patronizing notes on the white board. "DOOONNN'T DO THIS. DONNN'T DO THAT." She's such a bitch who can't stand dealing with people, that she leaves notes that single people out and make them feel hurt. Jessica doesn't like it, and it nearly made Gina cry. A grown-ass woman, crying, because of a patronizing note from a woman half her age, an assistant manager who can't take her employees aside and go over them how to do things. Becky told me, to my face, that Gina was a fucking idiot. And I don't like that at all. I told her to her face that night, that if she did not step up to help Gina, I would, and I will be more than happy to reveal how she -really- thinks of her employees and so called friends. I like working with Becky because she does her job in a swift, organized manner. But she is such a God damn bitch and is always in a fucking foul mood that no one wants to be around her. Don't take the fucking job if you can't step up to the plate and do it the right way. This is why I have FOUGHT for that assistant manager position. I want to -teach- people, not leave them stupid little notes. I want to make sure people know how to get their work done right. I want to get in there and show them myself, and if they don't get it, show them again. That is what I do. That is ALL I have EVER been able to do, is teach people. Teaching was always my passion, and it always will be. I have the patience, I have the demeanor, and I have the work ethic.
But no. I'm the court jester. The local fool. The idiot Farmer.
If I have not proven my point tonight, then God help anyone who gets in my way. I am not taking this shit anymore. I have dealt with it patiently, passively, peacefully. And now I'm done.
Bekah said, and I quote, "Nyehnyehnyehimmacertifiedtechnician.
" Mocking me being A+ certified and fixing the Printer.
To which I said, seething, "Nyehnyehnyehimmadumbass. Shut the fuck up, bitch."
Needless to say, it was not a good day. My nerves were shot. Between worrying over Steve, arguing and fighting with Rob, hurting myself, four hours of sleep, dealing with the busy work day and dealing with Bekah and exploding. Then I walked into a spider web and screamed and -really- lost my nerve.
So now I am slumped in my bed, fighting sleep. I have one of those Mike's Harder Mango Punch-jiggers. That and Kivimestan Druidi with their primal, beastly growling blaring in my ear. I feel remotely Human and in tact with my sanity. I will sleep soon.
Which reminds me. I should have updated this weeks ago. I had a weird dream--it was one of those, "So disturbing but can't look away" dreams.
I dreamt of thirteen swords--six male, seven female. I don't know why they had genders, but they did. There was also a piece of parchment with calligraphy that appeared when an old Chinese woman said the right incantation to make it appear. I dreamt of a dock, and night time, and a Moon that was Orange-Red. There were Demons somewhere. It was all part of a ritual, but I can't make sense of it anymore. It has been a long, long time since I've had a dream that had those kinds of particulars to them. I was very intently tuned to this dream at the time, and I thought about it for days afterwards. I specifically dreamt of thirteen swords. And it was specific that six were male, and seven were female. I rememeber darkness, and water, and the narrow walkway of planks near the water. I remember secretly raising antique shops for the thirteen swords, and they all dealt with three Chinese women. I just remember particulars. I remember numbers. Genders.
It was strange but it felt..bad? I don't want to say, [ wiggly fingers ] ominous. I've had dreams like that before--ages ago when I first got sick. Of drowning, of being in the Forest with the Red Tailed Hawk--who later turned out to be my first love, Taylor. So eh. If I happen to come across some thirteen males and females, I will pay attention.
IN the meantime, I am going to bed. A tout a l'heur.