I don't know that there really is a way. Tears, time, and I guess the fact that you never really stop loving someone. At least, I don't. Even after everything Cosette's father did to me, I still love him. Not like I did, but he still has a place in my heart. Just a different one than he once did. But, I think, love is never a bad thing. And it can heal, even a broken heart. Because love leads you to forgive, and forgiveness helps the pain go away. I forgave Félix long ago, even though he broke my heart. He also gave me Cosette, and how can I not love him for that?
A good bottle of blended whiskey or wine.. Lots of tears and tissues with time to mend the wounds. A broken heart is like pulling out several bullets not hitting one lethal spot. NO matter what you do its gonna hurt like hell taking those bullets out but after they heal there will still be scars. Regardless you gotta do it to no matter how freaking bad it hurts.
"Torchwood", "Doctor Who", "Charmed", "Lexx", "Supernatural", "Farscape", "X-Files", "Psi-Factor", "Sliders", "Secret Diary of the Call Gerl", "Being Human", "NCIS", "FireFly" and rest Sci-fi collection, all `bout it, and the people in it!
God, I haven't posted on here for so long. Is livejournal even trendy anymore? Doubt it. Maybe I'll start again... I'm listening to Cobra Starship for the first time in like, two years... THR0WBACK.
Then a spa appointment and a foodtrip comes next! ;-) Yes, calories are endorphins for me.
I spent years shutting off and running away from my own emotions, which I honestly really did need to do at the time, given I did not have the resources to handle the tidal wave of grief, pain, fear, or other stuff that I was only finally able to work through years later, with LOTS of help.
The healing work has been hard, and at times has really sucked. I've been more fragile than I was comfortable with, I've had to take more responsibility for my own part in relationship failures, and other failures, and I've had to face a bunch of terrifying, painful, emotional crap. But, it's been worth it in the long run (short runs can feel not so much).
The thing is, it has also expanded my <i>entire</i> emotional range. I found I became able to <i>feel</i> calm, for example - it wasn't just a lack of rage or whatever else I <i>had</i> been able to feel; there's actually something there, to be felt and experienced in and of itself. I was also able to feel more joy, and other positive emotions that had also gone into hiding when I stuffed everything away. And of course the best of all, is my own capacity to feel and experience love increased a whole lot.
As I've been working on all of that (for many years now), I've still had bumps in the road. I've still gotten into relationships that failed, ended, shifted, faded, etc., even with all the work I've done. It just goes that way some times. People die, people relocate (especially me), people shift their priorities, and sometimes, people just screw up (me included).
As I've been growing in general, though, I've also noticed each time this happens, that I not only feel the heart break, but later I also <i>feel</i> the heart healing. And I feel it most when it reaches out again and makes new connections, or makes deeper connections with someone than what I previously had with them.
This has sometimes included gaining new understanding and compassion for myself, not just someone else. My most vivid experience with this is probably a time when a certain song hit me pretty hard, right in the "not being loved as a child" wound. The song itself ("Ribbons Undone" by Tori Amos) describes a child who I would have had some things in common with, but the song is from the perspective of someone who dearly loves this child. First, I cried out a whole lot of pain around not having had this when I needed it. Then, I realized I could love that part of myself (me as a child), but it felt really hard. Then I felt a whole lot of things (more pain, shame, grief, hope), and started working through them, singing the song to myself when I could, then focusing on breathing it in when I was crying too hard to sing. I use music for my own therapy like this quite a bit; it works for me. I played the song over again many times, and did this same exercise of singing it to myself/breathing it in to myself many times over a course of years. The song eventually stopped hitting me so hard, and a bunch of the emotions eventually released. But I also got a noticeably deeper capacity to love and appreciate myself, including things inherent to me as a kid.
And, I got a noticeable increase in capacity for love and empathy for others. I gained new patience for things I used to not be able to tolerate in others, and was able to view some patterns more compassionately than I had before. It increased my capacity for love and compassion in pretty much all directions.
There are many less dramatic examples of the same sort of thing happening in my life: I open my heart, even if it's painful and scary, and then I get a deeper capacity for love, trust, empathy, compassion, and other good stuff. <u>When I actively use that capacity</u> by loving people more (me as well as others), and offering trust, empathy, compassion, and other such stuff, I get to experience it growing even more, and healing the previous pain even more. It all goes around.
I would definitely say that my experience since I've been able to observe it has been that if I close up to protect my heart when it's hurt, it doesn't necessarily grow, it just waits. This might still be a good idea if I've been badly hurt, because I may honestly just need safety and space more than growth, at least for a while. But it's when I open up that capacity for love and connection that actual healing takes place, as well as growth.
So, that's how it works for me. :) Feel free to comment, whether your experience is similar or completely different.
Don't make it about them. It's not about getting back at them, making them feel everything that you've been feeling, showing them how fine you are without them, how you don't need them. Don't look through their Facebook or Twitter or whatever. Delete their number, set your Gchat so that their name doesn't show up when they're online, trash all of the old emails and texts if you're the type of person who can't resist looking through that stuff over and over. If they need something, you'll know, so stop worrying about them. If you need the graphic novels and jewelry box you left with them before you went off to study abroad, get it back. They can pay to ship it from San Diego to Maryland, especially after they let your stuff sit for weeks under the exact spot where their roof leaks.
Let yourself feel defeated but also force yourself to overcome the moments of self-pity, despair, and humiliation. Forgive yourself for being stupid, for not seeing it coming, for letting yourself get into the situation in the first place. You can still learn from your mistakes without punishing yourself and you can still protect yourself without cutting everyone else out. Stay busy. Use it as a crutch if necessary, but it'll also help you to stop fixating on this one thing and remember everything else that exists outside of you and this past. Think about how much things have changed, and realize how much they will. Think about the things you've changed, the things you are changing and the things you will change. This won't be forever.
( Collapse )
Bottom line: I would erase all of the excuses and justifications that people use to rationalize hurting those who are different from them.
Love does hurt.
We all have our ways of dealing with this inevitable fact of loving someone. Not everyone has experienced the pain of loss, but not everyone has experienced the joys of love either. Therefore, some of this won't apply to some of you.
In order to mend a broken heart, one must have it broken. This requires opening oneself up to feel. In and of itself, this is the hardest part for some folks. Anyone who's had to hear a friend's sob story about their breakup usually hesitates a bit when it comes to this step. Not everyone believes the reward is worth the risk with love, since it seems love has failed so many.
Then there's the courtship: the time before someone becomes your official significant other. Depending on the mindset of the people involved, this can be exciting, sweet, passionate, turbulent, and anything in between. This is also the time where you find out the most and least about who you're dating. Both parties put up a good show and attempt to hide all flaws so their partner will continue to be interested and not want out right away. You learn how much the person really pays attention, appreciates and values you during this stage as well. If one is lucky, the good people pass through this phase while the dirtbags slip through the cracks.
But we all know this isn't always the case.
Here's where the lead up comes. Breakups get harder as you get older. Many of us in America experiment with "going out" when we're young; ten to twelve years old is the most common, but younger has and will continue to happen. It's as simple as "I like you, do you like me?" to start, and as simple as "I don't like you anymore" to end. But it's because the hormones and attachments haven't really kicked in.
Teens have the most traumatic and dramatic breakups. There will never be another guy like him or girl like her in the mind of a teenager. Never will I love again, never will I get over him/her, never never never. Then next month, new guy or girl to love on. This is typical, but not the only scenario. The "high school sweetheart" scene is just as likely. Meet in high school, stay attached at the hip for four years, agonize over going to different schools for college, or one leaves while the other stays. Such things are so important at the time, but in the long run become amusing anecdotes.
We now enter the meat of the painful breakup: the twenty-something breakup. There's more at stake here, because more often than not, you've got some interest together. There's maybe a shared dwelling one of you will eventually have to leave, or some bills both have paid together, or there's a joint ownership of a vehicle or pet and a need to decide who keeps what. Having a breakup now tends to mess with a person's stability or credit or even their circle of friends.
So, dealing with the breakup needs to be handled according to the person's mental state and station in life. I have in the past been initially angry and hurt, which can last from minutes to days, then just hurt, followed by bitter, and stops off at depressed. Once all that's done, it's back to business as usual. Each phase is punctuated by different types of music and frequency of reminiscing about "the good times" or "when we loved each other". My method may not be the best, but it's mine!
Wish it really worked for the young lady I wrote about previously. I still think of her, and I still miss her.
But it's a big world, and I found someone who likes to keep me around that I haven't annoyed enough to leave me yet. I'm working on keeping her for a while.
The song is sang by my close friend, the punishment of some game which I and my friends played when I am still on college. I forgot what the games, that song always makes me laugh.
The song is about confession *love.
The funniest point is the object that we changed with our friend in college. Try it with your friend, it's fun I swear.
When I shopped something that I want, when I knew soemthing that I did not know and was very interested, my boyfriend also always makes me laugh.
Well, I like smiling and I will be smiling all the time when I am happy.
Hope you would not mind that I am about to introduce you one of our best sellers, TaylorMade R11 Driver.
its a week and a day since i lost my baby last thursday somethink inside me died that day all the time in the world will not bring her back you do not know how good it was until you lose her she was only a dog a k9
but she followed me every were since she was a pup about 12years we named her baby socks and she acted as if she was my girlfriend in fact she was better an a grlfriend more loyal and my icon got me through the worst times of my life so baby i salute you miss you loads as if someone has taken my heart away love you miss you loads your never there now when i wake up thats when it hits me your gone but not forgotten this time last week you left my side and i cryed but cindy sends her love your big sister no human has torched as much as you did
got to go love you baby you was my sunshine on the cloudy days even my brothers death never hit me as much
thinking of suicide but nature will take its course clear the road for my entery and be there to guild me looking forward to seeng you again the girls i was talking to they was humans untrust worthyin other words unknown
can not be trusted i trust you babylocks xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx bye my love
Often some form of well-written slapstick. When likeable characters act over the top sometimes, that can be pretty funny too as long as they don't milk the joke dry. Unfortunately the comedic relief in a lot of current movies ends up being the comedic annoyance. Other than that, my best friends have their own special ways of making me crack up.
Например, я меняю работу и спрашиваю Бога, стоит ли мне пойти именно в эту компанию; происходит некое событие, может быть, даже совсем мелкое, которое или настраивает меня в пользу этой фирмы, или, наоборот, раскрывает мне глаза на их внутренние проблемы и бесперспективность сотрудничества с ними. Результатом же становится хорошая зарплата, поездки в Америку, Европу и Австралию, а также интересные проекты с исполненными энтузиазма коллегами.
А иначе мы тыкались бы в этой жизни, как слепые котята. Те, кто не хочет держать глаза открытыми и прут напролом, реализуя нечто, втемяшившееся им в голову, обычно в скорем времени разочаровываются в своих желаниях. Что, впрочем, вовсе не удивительно.
Кстати, вы в курсе, что ударение в слове «знАмение» ставится на первый слог? :-)
As of this year - the Volkswagen-Darth Vader 2011 Super Bowl Commercial
IT's just so funny watching his reaction! I can't help but laugh!
The thing that always maks me laugh is when th Cardinals fans here at the Mary Bryant Home give m a hard tim about the Cubs. The rsidnt who always dos that also tris to tell m that he nevr tases and is an angel. I hav to remind him that this isn't trhe least bit tru- that he tass everyone. I've also been telling him that the Cardinals will get eliminated in the first round of the playoffs.
Well, alot of things, such as when a person acts tough, but then gets their ass kicked. The death of Michael Jackson *pedophile*, the westboro people claiming they love you, despite the fact that they don't even know you, some commercials I see, sick jokes, and sometimes, just life.
It was a situation, and it was hilarious. To this day I still laugh. It happened more than a year ago. My pregnant daughter was over, I was living with my sister at the time. I was lying on the bed while my daughter was on my computer and my sister had been on hers. Her black cat was on the back of the desk chair and she leaned down to pet him, and cup his face up to kiss him.
I swear I heard her say to him, "Do you have any idea, Senor?"
I knew I had to have heard wrong, and I waited to hear more, but that was it. For some reason that gave me the giggles and I couldn't stop. If I tried to tell them why I was laughing I'd only laugh harder. Finally I couldn't stop, I was crying, my stomach was aching, and I was rolling around unable to take a deep breath.
Suddenly, just when I thought I was finally calming down, my daughter (both she and my sister were laughing because I couldn't stop laughing) asks me, "What the hell did the cat say to Auntie to make you laugh so hard?"
That was it, I was back to unstoppable laughing and crying and pain, unable to breathe. Especially when it hit her how she worded it and realized the screw up.
I just had to answer this one.
There is a family story known as "The Cupcake Incident" that makes me laugh every time I tell it.
Probably about 10 years ago, Charlie, Kevin and I were standing around in the kitchen. It was evening and I was eating a cupcake that I had made that morning. The three of us were just chatting away about nothing in particular when Shadow, one of our cats, came walking up to us. For reasons unknown, Charlie decided to squat down and fart on Shadow's head. Shadow's reaction was priceless; a look of pure confusion and slight disgust. It was so random that all three of us started laughing and I spit a mouthful of cupcake all over the kitchen. This of course made things even funnier and broke all three of us.
So random. I'm smiling even as I type this.
Anyway, that's my stupid story.
My daughter. She does cute and silly stuff that I can't help but to laugh. My cats make me laugh when they play. My husband's jokes and quotes. Certain characters on certain shows. Dean Winchester and Castiel on Supernatural. Rick Castle gets me laughing so do Pete and Claudia on Warehouse 13 and I laugh when Jason Stackhouse says something stupid like when he was trying to "Parrot-Phrase"